I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
