Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize