Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
you traded sex for a burrito?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
