i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
