I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
