i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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