what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
