sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
