if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
