I must be too annoying 4 u.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
