the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
