He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
