doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
