I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
