Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
