But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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