I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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