We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
