Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
