dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
