It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
