im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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