Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
