I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
