my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
