Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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