I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
