i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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