I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
