How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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