I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
