Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
