You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
