no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
