we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
