You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
