Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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