its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
So vagazzling was a success
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
