Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
