The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
