One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
