Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
it was like eating out sand paper
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
