Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
