I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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