you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
