I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
