Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
NoShamevember. You game?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize