Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
