Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
