I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
