I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
