No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
