he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
