if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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