Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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