So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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