We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
