I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
