In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
