Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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